I've been thinking a lot today about taking chances.

There are things I certainly want to do and try as I continue on this journey to find my purpose.  I start to explore and stop.  Why?  Fear of the unknown, real commitments in real time, risk-avoidance...you name it.  But I read a blog post from my friend Rebecca Thompson who talked about her decision to do a Remote Year.  What really struck me was how she began preparing for her journey before she was officially accepted.  She began to "act as if" her success was guaranteed and the universe agreed.

So often, I hear people say they want something and then make no changes in their life.  Or worse, they begin to take action that is contradictory to their goals.  This is my most common form of self-sabotage.  We say "I can't want to leave my job" then double-down on work that leaves little time for life.  We say "I will fit into that outfit by X date" then actively agree to things that interfere with workout time.

I get it.  Change is sometimes hard and more often scary.  It's difficult to leave our comfort zone for some goal when success is not guaranteed.  But what if it all worked out?  What if you succeeded beyond your wildest dreams?

I'm curious, act as if your success is already guaranteed - what would you do next?

At some point, we all must die.  

I really needed to take care of a few personal things but my work kept getting in the way.  I needed to follow up with my doctor who rarely has openings but I had two meetings I felt I couldn't miss.

My husband often admonishes me for putting other folks' needs ahead of mine. So, I decided to make my appointment and let the chips fall where they may.  And wouldn't you know, the meeting that was in my way was rescheduled out of the blue without me saying anything.  Simple yet an important reminder for me.

Then I remembered the Paulo Coelho quote from The Alchemist and I couldn't agree more.

I'm making a shift to prioritize myself, the growth of my business and the people who make me happy - and the universe is conspiring with me.  2016 is underway and it is going to be divine.

We're constantly counting and waiting. Until your turn in line, until the workday ends, until the weekend arrives. Waiting for that next love, next job, next vacation. I feel like I've spent my life sleeping and waiting but I realized this morning, my time is up. My cosmic countdown has ended.

Every year, I miss something.  Historical sites disappear from the Earth. The last animal of its kind slips into extinction. The sun rises and sets faithfully each day but I usually miss it while I'm waiting for, or worrying about, something else.

So, I'm done waiting.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds for love, life, friends, family, my career, and that's ok. I've just decided to move on anyway. The countdown is over. Time's up.

Absolutely love this video. Not ashamed to say it made me cry...twice.

2013 is here.  Finally.  Something big is in the works.  Although that sounds cliche, I am serious.  Seven years ago, I was on a very different path.  In school, organizing, poised to change the world somehow.  Then, I got derailed.  Listening to the multiplying naysayers, simply completing each day, trying unsuccessfully to fit into the mold created for me by those who loved me.  Fast forward to the me now who misses the me then.  But, like we loved to sing in Suite 336E, "There's Hope."

Saw Django and saw a few parallels.  Talked to my husband about self-improvement and deciding to get out of a rut. Talib Kweli's "Get By" plays on my pandora playlist.  My friend talks about her relationship and I immediately A co-worker leaves to make a bigger impact while following her truth. And, as if on cue, the mission statement I began and lost many moons ago appears on a completely different computer.  Kismet.

So, in my cathartic new pastime I share with you that I am on track yet again.  not just because of these stars aligning but because I am keeping the promise I made to myself nearly two decades ago to be someone I belief in, someone I am proud of, someone changing the world during the days she i given to walk this earth.

Welcome to the new (old) me.

I've been off the radar and not really moving forward for a little while.  I remind myself of sea kelp ebbing and flowing at the whims of the flowing tide.  Well, I've had enough of that.  About 2 years ago, I ran into a few books on the idea of a "Quarterlife Crisis" and a few of my friends mentioned the anxiety the felt as we approached and experienced our mid 20's.  Looking back and across I see that this angst was both real and unaddressed by me.  I can't say it is the only reason but part of a series of events that led me to a different space in my life.  I'm ready to get back onto the main road knowing that it won't be smoothly paved but I once had, and will again have, a clearer idea of what I want to do and where I'd like to be.  My idea is if you're not actively walking toward your dream, you're actually moving backwards because time continues to tick and the world around you keeps moving.  Sometimes you take a momentary pit stop - stop to re-fuel and check your map to make sure you know where you're going.  Now that I've done that, I'm ready to move full speed ahead. Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have a few epiphanies, anecdotes and unplanned stops along the way. :-)

Songs for the road:
One Mic (started playing in my head just now)
This is your life - Out of Eden

I've been missing for a while so here's a little recap.

Previously on Mostly Melissa...

• Moved to DC
• Started working in education
• Joined the board of the Cultural Academy for Excellence (www.cafeyouth.org)
• Decided to start a business
• Got married May 25th 

I must say, life is pretty good. Perfect? No. More good than bad? Certainly.

I'm learning to not take on everything, not fight every battle alone, not exhaust myself taking care of those I love.  Truth is, people actually want to help and a less stressed me is better for all of us!

The wedding was amazing.  Mr. Smith handled just about everything once we landed on the island so I got to just shoot the breeze and relax, just like a real vacation!  Now that I'm back in the real world, I'm taking steps to make sure I can vacation more often without running out of leave or having to rush back to work.  I'll keep you posted and won't stay away so long. :-)

Today's risk is to let go of feelings of guilt. To be quite honest, I feel guilty about a number of things I cannot control and I realize it's unhealthy. There's no reason to feel ashamed of opportunities I've had that close friends or family never experienced or for escaping trying times unharmed. These occurrences should be joy not sadness. I want to consciously think of things that may be holding me back and release them. Breathe, stretch, shake, let it go.

Song of the day: Chains by Kirk Franklin

Today's thought: I'm exactly where God needs and wants me to be.

Tonight's risk went well! Of course, because I was new and losing my voice I was asked to do an impromptu speech on a random topic but the crowd was great. I felt a little bit like the Golden Girls when they attended the positive thinking conference (lots of nice people with big smiles) but they were sincerely welcoming which made it fun. I plan to go back next week and look foward to developing my extemporaneous speaking skills.

I hope things go well for tomorrow!

Well, you probably didn't go anywhere but I feel like I've been around the world and back! As of today, I'm participating in 2 challenges. The 30 Days, 30 Risks challenge with PrincesAshleigh and the 31 Day Reset with Rosetta Thurman.

My risk today wasn't so risky, just something I've been putting off. I cracked open my trusty Bible app and started a 7-day scripture dive on courage. We could always use a little more courage and what better time to try? Read Joshua 1:1-9 and Deuteronomy 31:23.

For my 31 Day Reset, I have to come up with a mantra. Mine is simple,

"Be strong and of good courage...for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

My theme song: Mary Mary - Ordinary People



See you tomorrow for Day 2! Pray for me... :-)

I read this story today and had to share. A 5th grader in California wrote a letter to the School Board asking them to please not lay off teachers at her school. Accompanying the letter was a stack of money - $300 to be exact, her life savings thus far. I hope this warms your heart, too.

http://arcadia.patch.com/articles/fifth-grader-donates-entire-savings-to-stop-teacher-layoffs#video-5204873

http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2011-03-10-bullying10_ST_N.htm

So far, the White House attention to bullying has not drawn the criticism that Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign has generated. Some conservatives, such as former Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, have complained about too much White House intervention in people's personal choices.

Wait, is she serious?

Promoting healthy eating and physical activity is “too much White House intervention in people's personal choices?” This is coming from the same camp trying to outlaw abortion because it goes against their religious views, right? So telling folks to workout and teaching healthier eating habits is frowned upon but you have the right to force any woman to carry a pregnancy to term?

Are you kidding me?

Just watched Secret Millionaire and it is definitely my new favorite show. Other reality shows, take note! I would love to have a platform to highlight people like Helen and Ellen of the Love Kitchen.

These words just inspired me again.

"Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothed you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?" The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Matthew 25:35-40

Haven't really written about Hurricane Katrina although its now been 5 years since her terror reigned. I did, however, come across this story, which I bookmarked 5 years ago and still remember my first thoughts.

At the time of the hurricane, I was a community organizer in Washington, DC very much invested in the forward progression of my home away from home. When I read about Deamonte Love his story struck me. Not just because he was separated from family and somehow remained composed but because he led a group of kids, all younger than his 6 years, to safety. He appeared to me to be a natural organizer. I thought, this child's potential and leadership capability is both unparalleled and apparent at such a young age.

I made a silent promise to myself then that I would help send this young man to college and although he doesn't know, I have not met his family and have no idea what is going on with him, I intend to keep my word. Consider this my paying it forward.

I don't know if anyone else is persistently attacked by the hunger monster at work but I'm going to take a cue from my nanny friends, grandma and this site and begin packing snacks for my journey.

So I'm talking to a friend from college about how I wish life came with instructions.
He explained,

"Seems like your first 5 years after undergrad are just random cards dealt.
And you have to try to make a winning hand
But you have no idea what card game you're playing."

I think that's an adequate depiction of it. Any thoughts?

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Peace for the day. That is all.

This is what I need.
Peace of Mind - Lauryn Hill



Because currently I am this.
Someone Searching - Ginny Owens



I'm searching and its crazy because I don't know what I seek. Peace. Clarity. Understanding. Wisdom. Where is it?

Wasn't planning on having this blog take this turn but I guess I'll share with you as I make this quest, I've been putting it off for so long. Can't wait any longer. Peace.

So, for the past 3 months now we've been hearing about this BP oil spill.

Right about now there are over 140 million gallons of oil in the Gulf. Its the largest spill in Gulf history, will cost over $100 Million to clean up and My question was and has been, just what is 140 million gallons? I need it in layman's terms. How many football stadiums is that? What's the equivalent in bathtubs?

I hear the spill is comparable to about 35,000 barrels of crude oil per day. Or even better, its equal to the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill every 1 to 2 weeks - 1.

Its crazy how people can justify anything. You'd think this would be a wake up call for other types of energy and a decrease in dependence on oil yet, I am uninspired by arguments against them thus far. Oil is a dirty business. I remember visiting a National Park in Bangladesh in 2008 and hearing about the wonderful drilling being done in that beautiful place by Shell because they own the land beneath it. Great.

So what's next, people?

Ethanol anyone? You never heard about corn damaging the earth like this! Ever heard of an electric spill? We're looking into putting solar panels on the house and the next car will be electric but people think I'm being too dramatic. Excuse me for doing my part.

1. In case you wanna see it for yourself. Read here.