I've been thinking a lot today about taking chances.

There are things I certainly want to do and try as I continue on this journey to find my purpose.  I start to explore and stop.  Why?  Fear of the unknown, real commitments in real time, risk-avoidance...you name it.  But I read a blog post from my friend Rebecca Thompson who talked about her decision to do a Remote Year.  What really struck me was how she began preparing for her journey before she was officially accepted.  She began to "act as if" her success was guaranteed and the universe agreed.

So often, I hear people say they want something and then make no changes in their life.  Or worse, they begin to take action that is contradictory to their goals.  This is my most common form of self-sabotage.  We say "I can't want to leave my job" then double-down on work that leaves little time for life.  We say "I will fit into that outfit by X date" then actively agree to things that interfere with workout time.

I get it.  Change is sometimes hard and more often scary.  It's difficult to leave our comfort zone for some goal when success is not guaranteed.  But what if it all worked out?  What if you succeeded beyond your wildest dreams?

I'm curious, act as if your success is already guaranteed - what would you do next?

At some point, we all must die.  

I really needed to take care of a few personal things but my work kept getting in the way.  I needed to follow up with my doctor who rarely has openings but I had two meetings I felt I couldn't miss.

My husband often admonishes me for putting other folks' needs ahead of mine. So, I decided to make my appointment and let the chips fall where they may.  And wouldn't you know, the meeting that was in my way was rescheduled out of the blue without me saying anything.  Simple yet an important reminder for me.

Then I remembered the Paulo Coelho quote from The Alchemist and I couldn't agree more.

I'm making a shift to prioritize myself, the growth of my business and the people who make me happy - and the universe is conspiring with me.  2016 is underway and it is going to be divine.

We're constantly counting and waiting. Until your turn in line, until the workday ends, until the weekend arrives. Waiting for that next love, next job, next vacation. I feel like I've spent my life sleeping and waiting but I realized this morning, my time is up. My cosmic countdown has ended.

Every year, I miss something.  Historical sites disappear from the Earth. The last animal of its kind slips into extinction. The sun rises and sets faithfully each day but I usually miss it while I'm waiting for, or worrying about, something else.

So, I'm done waiting.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds for love, life, friends, family, my career, and that's ok. I've just decided to move on anyway. The countdown is over. Time's up.

Absolutely love this video. Not ashamed to say it made me cry...twice.

2013 is here.  Finally.  Something big is in the works.  Although that sounds cliche, I am serious.  Seven years ago, I was on a very different path.  In school, organizing, poised to change the world somehow.  Then, I got derailed.  Listening to the multiplying naysayers, simply completing each day, trying unsuccessfully to fit into the mold created for me by those who loved me.  Fast forward to the me now who misses the me then.  But, like we loved to sing in Suite 336E, "There's Hope."

Saw Django and saw a few parallels.  Talked to my husband about self-improvement and deciding to get out of a rut. Talib Kweli's "Get By" plays on my pandora playlist.  My friend talks about her relationship and I immediately A co-worker leaves to make a bigger impact while following her truth. And, as if on cue, the mission statement I began and lost many moons ago appears on a completely different computer.  Kismet.

So, in my cathartic new pastime I share with you that I am on track yet again.  not just because of these stars aligning but because I am keeping the promise I made to myself nearly two decades ago to be someone I belief in, someone I am proud of, someone changing the world during the days she i given to walk this earth.

Welcome to the new (old) me.

I've been off the radar and not really moving forward for a little while.  I remind myself of sea kelp ebbing and flowing at the whims of the flowing tide.  Well, I've had enough of that.  About 2 years ago, I ran into a few books on the idea of a "Quarterlife Crisis" and a few of my friends mentioned the anxiety the felt as we approached and experienced our mid 20's.  Looking back and across I see that this angst was both real and unaddressed by me.  I can't say it is the only reason but part of a series of events that led me to a different space in my life.  I'm ready to get back onto the main road knowing that it won't be smoothly paved but I once had, and will again have, a clearer idea of what I want to do and where I'd like to be.  My idea is if you're not actively walking toward your dream, you're actually moving backwards because time continues to tick and the world around you keeps moving.  Sometimes you take a momentary pit stop - stop to re-fuel and check your map to make sure you know where you're going.  Now that I've done that, I'm ready to move full speed ahead. Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have a few epiphanies, anecdotes and unplanned stops along the way. :-)

Songs for the road:
One Mic (started playing in my head just now)
This is your life - Out of Eden