Absolutely love this video. Not ashamed to say it made me cry...twice.

2013 is here.  Finally.  Something big is in the works.  Although that sounds cliche, I am serious.  Seven years ago, I was on a very different path.  In school, organizing, poised to change the world somehow.  Then, I got derailed.  Listening to the multiplying naysayers, simply completing each day, trying unsuccessfully to fit into the mold created for me by those who loved me.  Fast forward to the me now who misses the me then.  But, like we loved to sing in Suite 336E, "There's Hope."

Saw Django and saw a few parallels.  Talked to my husband about self-improvement and deciding to get out of a rut. Talib Kweli's "Get By" plays on my pandora playlist.  My friend talks about her relationship and I immediately A co-worker leaves to make a bigger impact while following her truth. And, as if on cue, the mission statement I began and lost many moons ago appears on a completely different computer.  Kismet.

So, in my cathartic new pastime I share with you that I am on track yet again.  not just because of these stars aligning but because I am keeping the promise I made to myself nearly two decades ago to be someone I belief in, someone I am proud of, someone changing the world during the days she i given to walk this earth.

Welcome to the new (old) me.

I've been off the radar and not really moving forward for a little while.  I remind myself of sea kelp ebbing and flowing at the whims of the flowing tide.  Well, I've had enough of that.  About 2 years ago, I ran into a few books on the idea of a "Quarterlife Crisis" and a few of my friends mentioned the anxiety the felt as we approached and experienced our mid 20's.  Looking back and across I see that this angst was both real and unaddressed by me.  I can't say it is the only reason but part of a series of events that led me to a different space in my life.  I'm ready to get back onto the main road knowing that it won't be smoothly paved but I once had, and will again have, a clearer idea of what I want to do and where I'd like to be.  My idea is if you're not actively walking toward your dream, you're actually moving backwards because time continues to tick and the world around you keeps moving.  Sometimes you take a momentary pit stop - stop to re-fuel and check your map to make sure you know where you're going.  Now that I've done that, I'm ready to move full speed ahead. Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have a few epiphanies, anecdotes and unplanned stops along the way. :-)

Songs for the road:
One Mic (started playing in my head just now)
This is your life - Out of Eden

I've been missing for a while so here's a little recap.

Previously on Mostly Melissa...

• Moved to DC
• Started working in education
• Joined the board of the Cultural Academy for Excellence (www.cafeyouth.org)
• Decided to start a business
• Got married May 25th 

I must say, life is pretty good. Perfect? No. More good than bad? Certainly.

I'm learning to not take on everything, not fight every battle alone, not exhaust myself taking care of those I love.  Truth is, people actually want to help and a less stressed me is better for all of us!

The wedding was amazing.  Mr. Smith handled just about everything once we landed on the island so I got to just shoot the breeze and relax, just like a real vacation!  Now that I'm back in the real world, I'm taking steps to make sure I can vacation more often without running out of leave or having to rush back to work.  I'll keep you posted and won't stay away so long. :-)

Today's risk is to let go of feelings of guilt. To be quite honest, I feel guilty about a number of things I cannot control and I realize it's unhealthy. There's no reason to feel ashamed of opportunities I've had that close friends or family never experienced or for escaping trying times unharmed. These occurrences should be joy not sadness. I want to consciously think of things that may be holding me back and release them. Breathe, stretch, shake, let it go.

Song of the day: Chains by Kirk Franklin

Today's thought: I'm exactly where God needs and wants me to be.

Tonight's risk went well! Of course, because I was new and losing my voice I was asked to do an impromptu speech on a random topic but the crowd was great. I felt a little bit like the Golden Girls when they attended the positive thinking conference (lots of nice people with big smiles) but they were sincerely welcoming which made it fun. I plan to go back next week and look foward to developing my extemporaneous speaking skills.

I hope things go well for tomorrow!

Well, you probably didn't go anywhere but I feel like I've been around the world and back! As of today, I'm participating in 2 challenges. The 30 Days, 30 Risks challenge with PrincesAshleigh and the 31 Day Reset with Rosetta Thurman.

My risk today wasn't so risky, just something I've been putting off. I cracked open my trusty Bible app and started a 7-day scripture dive on courage. We could always use a little more courage and what better time to try? Read Joshua 1:1-9 and Deuteronomy 31:23.

For my 31 Day Reset, I have to come up with a mantra. Mine is simple,

"Be strong and of good courage...for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

My theme song: Mary Mary - Ordinary People



See you tomorrow for Day 2! Pray for me... :-)